Summer Shoe Hazards

I love peep-toe pumps. I love my toes and I love cheese, but I do not love when my lunch spills on my peep-toe pumps and I get parmesan cheese between my toes.

Vivienne Westwood Inspired Party

The Vivienne Westwood show at the De Young Museum gave me a great party idea. It's a cocktail party (as they all should be) but you supply bins of scrap materials (ex. taffeta or chiffon or cotton remnants), plastic bags, paper, etc., and bins of tape and staplers and have your guests make their own dresses out of the stuff, while they drink booze and eat appetizers. Then everyone can have their picture taken as a souvenir to take home. One could even venture out in the creations.

In my heart I imagine a group of drunken scrap-partydress clad ladies terrorizing our lovely town.

Mastering the Clear Bag

My friends say to me "Babe, I love those clear bags but I can't carry one because everyone will see the embarrassing stuff I carry".

To which I reply "RIGHT ON!"

Currently I'm carrying my clear bag filled with empty pill capsules that I bought online. There is nothing as glamorous as trying to dig your lipstick out of a pile of pills. Nothing. Just think of it, when you're looking for your lipstick you can have bystanders hold fists full of your pills while you search. What better way to make friends?

When I get tired of the pills I'm going to fill it with tampons.

Then maybe empty prescripton bottles or orange ear plugs? Condoms? M&Ms? The possibilities are endless.

The Dress I'll Wear in Heaven

Behold.
sigh...
Dior, of course, Fall 2008 RTW

Not so Smart

I bought a pair of rad shoes off of ebay express. Shoes I had wanted forever but was too cheap to buy full price, plus I figure if I don't buy something and still want it in 6 months it must be a classic that will last. All the stuff I think will be out of style in a month, I buy immediately at full price because, as noted before, I'm smart.

More proof. So I got the shoes and opened them up and took one out to try it on. Needless to say it looked hot. Then I got into a cleaning frenzy, because I had done A LOT of online shopping lately and there were empty boxes all over the living room. So I started breaking all of them down to shove them into the recycling chute, we live on the 5th floor.

Breaking down boxes is boring, so I thought I'd beat the system by just ripping my address off of the boxes and throwing them whole down the shoot. I felt so smart and cool, and my place looked less like a garbage dump, a little.

A few hours later I'm getting ready to go out and I decide to wear my sweet new shoes. Um, but I can only find one. Then I realized I had tossed the other one out in the box down the recycling chute. I ran down to the basement but the bin had already been emptied.

Now I have one shoe and a lesson to remind me that in cheating the gods of recycling, we're really only cheating ourselves, or maybe that I'm just lame.

The Ultimate BSG Designer

I, we, worship Hussein Chalayan. His fashion creations are beyond compare, not only are they beautiful, they transform in real-time, as you can see in this video.

What could be more Batshit Glam than to go about your day in a perpetually transforming dress?

BS Glam Dress

I got this little number at Elizbabeth Charles on Fillmore St. Elizabeth herself picked it out for me. She is sooooo good! The dress is rather mini so I wear shorts under it, they're dolphin shorts with VEGAS written across the butt in rhinestones. hot

Of course I got lipstick all over it the first day. I just can't handle the responsibility of light colored clothing.

Once I was looking at a straw bag at Kate Spade but when I found out it was untreated (unprotected from stains), I told the sales girl I'd ruin it with coffee spills within minutes of owning it. She suggested I not drink coffee when I carried the purse. I suggested she get real.

Batshit Glam Shoes

Wow. These are the perfect shoes for the sub-class of Batshit Glamour called Jackie Ho - a mix of Jackie O style outfits and hooker style shoes.

Batshit Glamorous Style

Recently I haven't been satisfied with an outfit unless I add a new element to it. I like to call it the "unexpected element".

Today my outfit was perfect.

A navy cashmere sweater - giving me classic elegance
A bright purple pencil skirt - for the always important glamour
and
Intentionally crooked lipstick - to give my look that indispensable feeling of batshit crazy.

I'm calling my new style "Batshit Glamorous". And I expect it to spread.

Batshit Glam can be anything from going out perfectly dressed but with your zipper undone to flesh colored socks with tennis shoes. Just so long as it makes spectators ponder your sanity.

It's just like how I drive. If I'm in a sticky situation, like trying to merge when no one will let me, I start swerving a lot so that people give me more room, the kind of room you'd want to give to someone who's nuts.

When one of my idols, Darla, a producer on Monsters Inc., went to the movie premier, she wore a beautiful gown with a sock stuck to her back, as a tribute to the movie. She thought it was amazing but the rest of the people on the red carpet were mortified for her. Now that's Batshit Glam!

Really it's the next step in beauty, we've all mastered the craft so now it's time to take it up a notch.

Currently I'm investing in alarming vingage hats, mounted animal head jewelry and a Dali-esque mustache.