Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Sleep - Freedom's Last Virgin Wilderness

Society wants to make me feel bad about sleeping all the time. Apparently I'm supposed to feel lazy (which for some reason has a negative connotation) because I go to bed at 10p.m., don't get up until 11:30a.m. and nap from 4 to 7p.m.

Why? you ask. Why do they care? I'll tell you why. It's because sleep is the last untouched wilderness of Freedom. They can tax tobacco, illegalize drugs, and throw you in jail for drinking booze but there is nothing they can do to regulate your sleep.

Oh but they try. Making everything so expensive that we have to work all the time, waking up early and going to bed late, is nothing more than an attempt to control our sleep. Still though, there is no direct route they can take to regulate it.

Why is sleep so threatening? Think of this: if you had to choose between supporting the current government and being able to sleep which would you choose? See?

Also, sleep keeps me from contributing to money transfers that are essential to funding our current society.

For example:

1. When I'm sleeping I'm not eating. So I'm dieting without the aid of diet programs, pills, or professionals.

2. I age slower because I'm conscious less often. Hence I'm not getting plastic surgery or buying anti-aging products.

3. It brings me closer to my dream of dying peacefully in my sleep (let me explain the logic here: if you want to die in a clown suit wear the clown suit a lot). If I die peacefully in my sleep they're going to miss out on all the money I'd have to spend on doctors, medicine and hospitalization.

You see, when I sleep I don't just do it for my own benefit, I do it for Freedom. Feel free to thank me between 12 and 3p.m., when I'm awake.

1 comment:

Patrick! said...

Don't forget what John Lennon said:

Please, don't wake me, no, don't shake me
Leave me where I am - I'm only sleeping

Great blog!